Where Life is Taking Me

I may have mentioned before that I am on the home stretch of graduating college. Just a couple more months and come Christmas I'll be on my own in the real world. I am only taking one class this quarter, have to write one paper, make one poster board and one presentation and then I'm out! Woo Hoo!!

College has been a blast, but I now know that I am not a college person. I'm glad that I have stuck it out to get a degree, but I HATE school! It's just not for me. I can't sit in lectures, and listen to someone talk for multiple hours in a row. Even if I love the subject matter and really want to learn, my brain just can't take in information that way. I also have a hard time listening to books on tape for that reason. I wasn't always that way, back in high school it seemed to go by so easily... but maybe that's just me now comparing it to college.

Anyway, what I really want to talk about is my feelings, worries and fears about being let out into the real world and needing to find my way. I'm not exactly worried about being able to find a job, I'm sure I can find work at a coffee shop or restaurant or what have you to make my way. My worry is that I'll need to work at a coffee shop or restaurant in order to make my way. I'm worried that I wont be able to make my dream a reality for the next ten years while I am saving up for it.

Part of that problem is that I don't know exactly what my dream job is. I know I want to homestead and have a farm with vegetables, an orchard, animals left and right, and a live-off-the-land mentality, but in order for that to happen I need capital to get started. But where is that going to come from? So I need a start up job. I don't think that there is anything wrong with being a barista or waiter, I just think that it would make me miserable. I am just not that kind of person. So I need to figure out what else I can do. I have heard one story after another about people, my friends, graduating college and then not being able to find a decent job for the next few years... but I want to start working on my dream now! Not in a few years!


But what is that dream? What do I actually want to do to support myself? I've thought of a few different ideas. They usually involve making things that would take some start up capital.

I've felt a lot of pressure to know what it is I want to do and to have a plan on how to get there right out of college. But the truth is, I don't know what I want and I can't know how to get to someplace if I don't know where that someplace is. One thing I do know, coming out of a school setting, is that I want time. I want to have the time to decompress, to feel free from due dates, to be able to travel at a moments notice if I want (although, I'm much more of a homebody); I want the time to explore my passions without the pressure to figure out my life right away. For once, I want to be accountable to no one but myself.

I guess we'll see come Christmas.

 (The flowers really have nothing to do with the post, I just didn't have any other pictures that I thought worked, and they're pretty)